


Edge of Desire

by thatgirl_kei



Series: Shadowverse [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Post 3x06, oh my boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-12-07 00:27:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18227456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatgirl_kei/pseuds/thatgirl_kei
Summary: I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believethere I just said it, im scared you'll forget about me- Edge of Desire, John MayerAlec is feeling insecure, Magnus is overwhelmed. Can they come to an agreement?





	Edge of Desire

_“I’m immortal, Alexander!”_

Magnus sighed and put his makeup remover, soaked cotton ball down. That line replayed constantly in his head as the night went on. Nothing, not even the numerous drinks or all the company in the world at Pandemonium could change that. He knew that the argument was not his finest moment by far, but how did it all go wrong so fast?

_“Mmm! This is delicious,” Magnus nearly moaned with a mouthful. “I haven't been this enamored of French toast since, well, since Julia Child made me petit dejeuner.”_

_“Good.” Alec placed his napkin in his lap, refusing to look at Magnus._

_“Maybe you should save the spatula I used for your little box,” Alec said with false casualness and took a sip of his drink._

_The mood shifted suddenly, tension so thick one would need a knife to cut through it. Magnus cleared his throat and put down his silverware._

_“Alexander if my mementos are still an issue for you, perhaps we should talk about it.”_

_“No. It's my issue.” Alec sighed sadly. “I just got so swept up that I never stopped to think about the future,” he confessed._

_“We fell in love. There was nothing else to think about.” Magnus watched pain and vulnerability flit across Alec’s face as he tried to compose emotion into words._

_“I can't stomach the idea that one day, I'm gonna be old and feeble, and becoming this burden to you,” Alec lamented._

_“Look, there's no universe where you would ever be a burden,” Magnus reassured gently._

_“You say that now.” Alec stared at his plate glumly. Magnus took a look at his morose boyfriend and changed direction._

_“Okay, maybe the reason why you're having such a hard time processing this is because this is your first relationship.”_

_Alec's head snapped towards Magnus, fire igniting in his eyes._

_“Right, because the whole immortality thing, that's no big deal. This is all just because you're the only guy I've ever been with,” Alec fumed._

_“No, no,” Magnus placated. “All I'm saying is every relationship is complicated.”  
Alec's frown seemed to deepen at that, and he could see Alec’s jaw tighten._

_“Perhaps ours wouldn't seem so daunting if you would have been with at least one person before me,” Magnus finished calmly._

_“Oh. So, what, I should go sow my oats?” Alec retorted sharply, gripping his fork._

_“You're putting words in my mouth, that's not what – “_

_“And you're twisting this into something that it isn't!” Alec interjected furiously. “I'm not a child, Magnus.”_

_Magnus felt his patience finally snap and felt the fire of his anger spread.  
“Then stop acting like one!” he shouted._

_The silence was deafening, suffocating. Magnus immediately regretted his words, but it was too late to take them back._

_“I lost my appetite.” Alec pushed his plate away and stormed from the table._

Magnus wiped an escaped tear and finished cleaning his face quickly. He slipped out of his silk top and fancy pants and into a quick shower. Once clean, Magnus rifled through his drawer for some yoga pants but found none. In the very bottom drawer, Magnus found a clean, folded, pair of grey sweatpants.

_That’s odd,_ he thought. _I don’t normally wear anything as boring and mundane as sweat pants._

Magnus pulled them out and opened them. _Alec._ Magnus tugged them on quickly and crawled into bed but found he couldn’t sleep. He checked his phone for what seemed like the billionth time that night. Nothing. Magnus heaved a big sigh and pulled his comforter over his head. It was going to be a long night.  
***  
“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” Alec hit his punching bag hard, sending it swinging.

“You’re lying,” Isabelle sing-songed obnoxiously. 

Alec rolled his eyes and hit the bag again. “Oh, like you did? Where’s the jewelry you’ve made today, Izzy?”

“Oh, ha ha.” Izzy made a face at her brother. “Nice try, but no changing the subject. Tell me what’s wrong.”

Alec stopped punching the bag and fixed his sister with a glare. “What’s it going to take to get you to leave me alone?”

“Tell me what happened. Is it Magnus?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Alec scowled at her insistence. 

“Fight me.”

Alec blinked at his sister clearly confused. “What?”

“C’mon, train with me. If you win, I’ll leave you alone,” Izzy cajoled, earning her a smirk.

“And if you win?” Alec questioned as he pulled off his gloves and traded them for a staff.

“You tell me everything,” Isabelle pulled her whip free, and flicked it into a staff. “What? Are you afraid to lose?” She taunted with a smirk.

“Never.”  
***

Twenty minutes later, the pair were still fighting in the combat area.

“Just tell me,” Isabelle ground out from the mat. “You’ll feel better.”

“Nope.” Alec smirked and kicked her staff away. Isabelle’s eyes widened in disbelief and glared at her visibly gloating brother. In a fluid motion, Izzy swiped Alec’s feet out from under him. Alec landed in a thud and his sister pounced, pinning him with a seraph to the floor. 

“Okay, okay. Truce.” 

Isabelle grinned victoriously and stood up with her hand out, waiting for Alec to take it. Alec took it gratefully and stood, Alec took it gratefully and stood.

“Next time, Izzy.” He warned, wagging a finger as she continued to preen.

“Keep telling yourself that big brother,” Izzy countered smugly.

“Come on, I need a drink.” Alec stated pushing her ahead of him, gesturing for her to precede him.

They made their way to Alec’s room, Izzy determined to get Alec to talk. Once there, he opened his refrigerator and pulled out two water bottles and tossed one to his sister.  
After silence and a few gulps of water Alec began. 

“So, it started with me moving in with him.” Alec threw himself into his bed as Izzy sat herself in a chair opposite him delicately.

She balked at the thought, wrinkling her brows at him. “Moving in? Alec you guys haven’t even been together for that long!” his sister exclaimed. 

He rubbed a hand down his tired face. “I know.”

Alec recounted the first part of the events for his sister, watching her face go through a range of emotions. 

“Oh Alec,” Izzy sighed.

“It only got worse from there.”

“How so?”

“Well, after that, he accused me of being a child.”

“What?” Izzy scrunched her face questioning. 

“Yeah and after that, I basically walked out like one,” Alec admitted sheepishly. 

Isabelle groaned and covered her face. “Alec, you didn’t.”

“I kinda did.” 

“Ugh.” Izzy leaned back in her chair and threw her head back with a moan. Alec watched her in suspicion and heard her mutter something that sounded like “boys” and rolled his eyes.

“All right, get up.” Isabelle stalked over to Alec and began to tug on his arm.

“Izzy what?” Izzy smacked her brother’s arms trying to get him up.

“Okay, ow, Izzy. What?” Alec grunted and shoved off his sister’s attacking hands.

“You don’t go through your boyfriend’s stuff, dumbass,” Isabelle leveled a glare at her brother. “And you definitely don’t get jealous, throw a fit, and leave!” She smacked his arm once more for good measure. 

“So what will you have me do, Isabelle?” Alec glared back and rubbed his arm. 

“Well first, go shower. You smell like demon ass.” Alec scoffed and Izzy rolled her eyes. “Then, you are going to dress yourself and go apologize to your boyfriend for being a jealous idiot.”

“And what if he doesn’t want to talk to me?” Izzy’s gaze softened at her brother’s vulnerability.

“Then we will figure it out, but I doubt that that will happen. Now go shower.” Izzy shoved her confused brother towards his bathroom with a self-satisfied smirk.  
***

“Alec?”

The man in question winced and gave a weak smile. “Magnus. Can I come in?”

“Well I’m not sure. Are you going to walk out on me again?” Magnus asked with a pointed look.

“I’m sorry about that.” Alec shifted uncomfortably in the hallway, awaiting Magnus’ answer with bated breath. Tension radiated off Magnus for a moment, only to be replaced by a false air of nonchalance. 

“Yes, well,” Magnus shrugged and spun on his heel, leaving the door wide open. Alec quickly followed, shutting the door before sitting across from his hopefully still boyfriend. 

“You wanted to talk, so talk.” Magnus crossed his arms in front of him, clearly angrier than he was willing to verbalize.

Alec ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “I’m so sorry for leaving. I know that wasn’t fair of me to do, and I should’ve told you I needed space before I left." Alec sighed. “I just… I’m sorry.” 

Magnus moved across the living room and sat next to Alec before taking the other man’s hands in his. Alec looked up upon contact and saw Magnus give a small smile. “Thank you, Alexander. Can you tell me what has been bothering you?”

Alec looked into the golden eyes of his boyfriend. “Do you remember the first time I told you I love you?”

“Of course, why do you ask?”

“I’ve never been as afraid of death as I am of losing you. I meant it then, and I mean it now.”

Magnus gaped in silence for a moment, trying to find the words to say.

“Also, I’m sorry for going through your box of things, and all of the petty comments after. I know it was an invasion of privacy. I was just jealous and afraid.”

“Of?”

“Of not ending up in that box?” Alec pushed himself to his feet and began to pace. 

“That you would forget about me? It’s a hard enough pill to swallow that you will love someone else, but that you’ll eventually forget me too? I couldn’t take it.” Alec took a deep breath, exhaling shakily. 

“It’s stupid, I know. But,” he threw his hands up in the air sadly. “There you go. That’s everything.”

Magnus pulled Alec into a warm embrace. “Feelings are never stupid Alexander. How we react to them, however, is a different story.”

Magnus pulled away, interlocking their fingers. “I’m sorry for implying you were acting this way because you haven’t had a previous relationship. That was unfair of me.” 

Magnus took a deep breath and rubbed the back of Alec's hand, before dropping a gentle kiss. Alec gave him a small smile of encouragement to continue. 

“I was a bit overwhelmed and defensive. It has been a while since I’ve been in a steady relationship, and that ended disastrously. I’m not ready to live together. I worry if we take that step too soon I’ll lose you, and I don’t want that.” Magnus brought his empty hand up and cupped Alec’s face. “I'm sorry for deflecting that onto you.”

Alec leaned into the touch with a soft smile. “Magnus, I am nothing like Camille.”

“I know, but – “Magnus interjected.

“No, listen,” Alec started calmly, looking deeply into Magnus eyes.

“I moved too fast, I know that now. Just know that I’m ready whenever you are, okay?” Magnus smiled. 

“Do you forgive me?” he asked in a small voice, staring at their still intertwined hands.

“Only if you forgive me,” Magnus replied immediately. 

Alec smiled and let out a huge yawn. “Deal.”

“Shall we go to bed?” Magnus asked with an amused smile.

Alec’s phone buzzed, and the pair dropped hands as he reached into his pocket for his phone. Upon unlocking it, Alec noticed he had a text from Izzy. “Yeah I’ll be there in a minute,” he replied distractedly. Magnus nodded and disappeared down the hallway. 

**Izzy: everything okay  
Alec: yup, thx Iz  
Izzy: Aw. Ill take payment in the form of a shopping trip  
Izzy: or naming your first kid after me k thx  
Alec: GOOD NIGHT IZ**

Alec flushed and shook his head at his sister’s antics. _Great, now I’m thinking about having kids. With Magnus._

Alec walked down the quiet hallway into Magnus’ room, and slipped into bed. “I love you magnus,” Alec whispered into Magnus's ear lovingly as he spooned him.

“I love you too.” Magnus turned over and rolled onto Alec, laying across his broad chest and draped a clothed leg over his. 

“Wait a minute,” Alec said suddenly. “Are those my sweats?”

Magnus smirked a sleepy smile. “Haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about darling.”

Alec let out a deep chuckle, pulled Magnus closer and placed a small kiss on his forehead, falling asleep soon after. He was home.

**Author's Note:**

> hi all! hope you enjoyed!


End file.
